Lightbulb Moment

After Jack said that Abby smells like purple, I thought I'd ask him what some other colors smell like.  Here is what he told me:

Green - grass

Red - apples

Pink - cotton candy

Yellow - lemons

Blue - water

Purple - grapes

Brown - brownies

White - popcorn

Orange - oranges

It was all pretty standard until we got to black.  I have to admit that when I asked Jack what black smells like he leaned over and smelled our black computer keyboard.  The boy just couldn't think of anything black that smelled good!  A light bulb suddenly seemed to go off in his head and then he said that black smelled like smoke, which I thought was a pretty good answer.  Then it dawned on me that he could've gotten that one from his Momma almost starting the house on fire earlier in the day and that I quite possibly had permantly scarred him for life.  Oooops!

RECAP:  In trying to make some S'more-like brownies for Hannah to bring to a party today, I topped the brownies with chocolate chips and mini-marshmallows and put them in the oven.  Under the broiler.  On high.  Didn't set the timer.  Was gonna stand there and just watch it.  Started unloading the dishwasher.  Promptly forgot about the brownies.  Suddenly remembered the brownies.  After multiple minutes.  Screeched.  Opened the oven.  Smoke rolled out (black like Jack said).  Flames shot up.  Grabbed some hotpads and got that baby outta there.  Fanned the flames out.  CHARCOAL marshmallows, anyone?  Fire alarm goes off.  Doug races from his naptime slumber.  Calls 911 while disabling our fire alarm.  Diverts an embarrassing visit from our local firemen.  Scraped the smoldering marshmallows off the top of the brownies.  Added new marshmallows.  Put them back under the broiler to "toast" them.  Watched them closely AND set the timer.  Came out ooey and gooey.  Tasted one to make sure they didn't taste burnt.  Thumbs up.  Sent Hannah and her Smokin' Brownies on their merry way. 

And that's how Jack learned what black smells like. 

Hey, I'm all about education and hands-on learning and stuff.  I'm a good Mom like that.  I risk burning the house down so my kid can learn. 

Now, please don't call child protection services... ;)

Purplishious

Jack was hollering from the living room the other day because Abby was sitting on top of him trying to kiss him.  I told him to settle down because she was just being sweet.  He said "but she smells like PURPLE!"  Made me laugh...so I asked him what purple smells like and he said "you know...grapes!"  I guess there could be worse things than a little girl giving you kisses that smells like grapes!  Not according to the big brother apparently!

Another Jack-ism

The other night Jack & I were laying in his bed before he dozed off to sleep.  I had my mouth near his ear and was whispering something to him.  He was half asleep, but awake enough to say "Ugh...your bref (yes, he pronnounces breath like bref) stinks!"  I laughed and asked how he could tell that because my mouth was nowhere near his nose.  He said "because I can smell it through my ear!"  Oh, how he cracks me up, even when he's being painfully honest!

Back Seat Driver

So, the other day, Jack and I were going to Troy to run some errands. Slowing down at a stop sign and thinking out loud, I said "I wonder what the quickest way to get to Troy is from here." A second later, Jack says "I know the quickest way to get to Troy from here." I thought to myself "this ought to be good" and asked him what he thought. He said "the quickest way to Troy from here is to DRIVE FASTER!" I burst out laughing and told him he cracks me up. Straight-faced he said "It WASN'T a joke!" which, of course, made me laugh even harder.

I find the times he isn't trying to be funny are the times he makes me laugh the hardest. Gotta love that boy!

My "Sweet" Little Man...

Okay, so you know there's a boy in the house when the dinner conversation goes something like this:

Out of the blue, Jack says "Hannah, you're a boobie. Boobie boobie boobie. You are a boobie." I tell him to stop. Hannah proceeds to chase him around the house for a minute. She then says "Jack's a nincompoop." He doesn't know what this means, but knows it probably isn't nice. A few seconds later he comes back with "Wiener. Wiener wiener wiener. Wiener." Of course, inappropriate laughter follows even though we're trying not to let him see. Hannah follows with another name (can't recall what it was but it was pretty harmless).


Now, if you've ever been in a name calling row with Jack, you know he runs out of names pretty quickly. He then looks around the house for some random thing to call you. Normally it would be something like "chair" or "fork," which are funny just because they make no sense, right? Well, on this particular evening he happened to be sitting by the window. We watched as he was looking around for something to call her and wondered what he was going to come up with. We see him looking out of the window towards the swing set. Then he says "Swinger...Hannah, you're a SWINGER!" I practically choked on my tuna casserole and the girls burst out laughing. I'm certain I saw milk shoot out of Chloe's nose. Fortunately, the kids had no idea what that actually meant. They just thought the RANDOM name he came up with was hilarious. Makes me glad they're still naive and I didn't have any explaining to do!


Ahhhhh...life with a boy is definitely unpredictable! And on Good Friday and all. I wonder if it's too early to start bringing the boy to confession?!?